At the End
by Dear Pigfarts. Love the Doctor
Summary: Sirius finds himself in the afterlife, after a particularly tough battle with his cousin. But it is the others whom he meets there that really make him understand the true meaning of Rest. In. Peace.


**At the End**

It's bright. Brighter than I expected, but definitely less bright than they always imply.

 _'Don't go, towards the light...'_

 _'It's so bright,'_

Even those who have claimed to come back tell the world that they all saw ' _a bright, white light_ '.

Wait.

I'm dead?

Was that really it? _Really?!_ The final stand of Sirius Black?! Killed by his cousin while protecting his godson – not that bad actually. Though, I never got to spend the time I wanted with him... like I had planned or hoped – or dreamed. I have _failed_ him.

I remember the day he was born. The hospital was bright – but not this bright. Everything smelt _clean._ I remember walking into the room, after hearing the chorus of screams and yells coming from both Lily and James, and I saw her lying there with a small bundle in her arms. He was so small, so fragile. I almost didn't trust myself to hold him. James laughed at me.  
"Don't be ridiculous, Padfoot," he had said before laying Harry in my arms. His face was so small and squishy. He seemed so innocent, so pure – I knew in that moment that every part of me would protect this boy until the end.

I remember the day they took him home. It was only a few days later and Lily still looked like she had gone through Newts week a dozen times over. They both looked so happy. I turned up as they settled in, their eyes full of life, full of happiness, full of love. Harry had started crying moments after that, and he would not stop. After hours of the child screaming from mothers and fathers arms, they decided to try the final solution.  
"Sirius?" Lily's voice was soft as she whispered a useless question. Harry was in my arms with no need for a reply. I remember looking down at that small, beautiful boy in my arms and – as he quietened and fell asleep, I fell in love with the fifth most important person in my life – no, who was I kidding? He was the most important.

I remember the day I became his Godfather. It had been decided since before Harry was even conceived, but still as they asked me – let's just say that the tears that fell were hardly manly. The party was small... very small. I was there, and – well, I was there. It was rough times. I remember that moment they asked me to swear to protect him forever, which I did without any thought. ' _Protect him, Sirius._ ' James had asked of me, ' _He's going to need as much protection as we can offer if we're all going to make it through this war..._ '

The war. The war that tore everything from me. My best friend, my brother, my family, my Godson. Though the last may have been my fault. There is no excuse I can give. I was angry, and _he_ needed to pay. I should have stayed. I should have left well enough alone, testified to not being secret keeper and let the law find _Pettigrew._ Even the word tastes foul in my mouth, years later. I gave up a life with my Godson for what? A moment of satisfaction at the death of my best friends murderer? At Redemption? I failed them! I should have been the one entrusted to protect their lives, but I was stupid enough to trust a friend... the responsibility was _mine!_

Harry grew up all alone because I was reckless. He had to deal with Lily's horrible family for years with no one to hold him, no one to tell him how much he was loved... no one to make sure he knew that above all, his parents secured his safety. I wish I could have spent more time with him. My Godson. Harry.

 _Wait_. There he is. No, he can not be here... that would mean – NO! He cannot be dead, he was supposed to survive, grow up, have kids, name them after me. I mean seriously, how good does Sirius Potter sound?, I _had_ been rooting for James to name the second – James. Wait? That's not Harry it's… JAMES! Oh, I thought I'd never see him again!

"I thought I'd never see you again!"

I've missed him so much. He looks so good, fit, just like I last saw him. What do I look like? Old? Worn thin? I wish I had known I would be seeing James again, I'd have freshened up. I still can't believe he's here. I mean, this _is_ the after life… I'm assuming. He is smiling, his hands outstretched for me. It takes all I have not to rush to him, to cry at his feet and beg forgiveness for what I've done – or failed to do.

"James!" His arms were around me, his words soft and reassuring. He tells me that everything is okay now. "I have failed you..." I hiss into his shirt, my heart trying to rip itself out with the guilt of it all. "I'm sorry, I failed your son." We hold each other for a while, two brothers finally reunited in death. One much older than the other – but the same age at heart.

" _You failed no one, Padfoot. You did everything I would have done_ – _had the rolls been reversed_." His voice was so steady, so sure. I feel like a child again. A boy who was barely a man when he lost his only family left.

"Is Lily here too?" He says she's busy, and instantly my brain goes back to the default setting of humour. "Busy doing what? Can't spare a moment to talk to her second best friend in the entire world?" I guess I feel that the humour keeps away the hurt. But seriously, how can you be busy in the after life? Oh. James explains that this is _my_ after life, and there's a que. Who would be in my que? People important to me? People I affected? Hurt... killed? James was first, but it could still be that latter... I killed him – sort of.

Whose que am I in? That's a question I'd love answered. But enough for now, James is here and there's a whole lot of catching up to do. I go to ask him a question, but my eyes are draw away from his familiar face.

"Regulus?" What's my brother doing here? He looks so young... so alive – oh yeah, I remember. A wave of sadness rocks me to my core. He's not alive, none of us are. Though, he actually looks healthier when he's dead. How is that possible?

" _Brother_ ," He's smiling. He's happy to see me? Didn't I betray him, when I left? Didn't I leave him alone in a house full of hate? I can't stop the question as it falls from my lips:  
"Don't you hate me?" He's still looking at me with a sad smile, and shakes his head. He says he never has, he only ever respected my choice. How is that possible?  
"I'm sorry for leaving you alone, for not keeping in touch!" There are tears in my eyes; apparently it's still possible to cry in the afterlife. How is he not fuming at me? How is he so calm?  
" _I wasn't the best brother either, you know, when I joined the Dark Lord."_

I look at him, he looks happy. My eyes look back at James, his face sporting a calming smile as well. And then I realise. There's no point in being angry over the past, not here. I look at them and I realise, they have found peace with what happened, and all they want is for me to do the same.  
"Thank you."  
" _Anything for you, brother..."_

* * *

 **A/N: Words - 1,294**

 **Ancient Runes - "someone having their eyes opened"**


End file.
